5 4 3 2 1

One of my shortcomings as a human has always been my romanticized and often overwhelming sense of nostalgia.

And what better time to indulge a sense of nostalgia than the arrival of the new year?

But that said, I always tend to view things through a nostalgic tint. I see memories being made in the moment they occur and know instantly that one day all of what composes those moments will be gone. I see my past as more of a dream I had rather than a life I lived.

One of the things I always think about is the concept of midnight on new years. It is one of those few moments in a life when most people can sequentially map out in a matter of moments where they were at an exact moment in time, one year apart, for many years back.

Whenever the backward countdown begins and there is glitter and giggling and the stench of whiskey and beer and frost-bitten city air, no matter where I am or who I am with I always reserve that time to take a few moments to look back at my life.

Sometimes it is interesting, because I see flashes of that same midnight countdown but with different locations, different cities, different circumstances. Sometimes I feel a twinge of sadness because I see sets of eyes in my mind looking back into my eyes in those famous countdown moments... but now I can barely remember what any of them look like because they are so far away and gone forever. Nothing is weirder than trying to remember someones face that you used to know better than your own, or trying to remember a room or a yard or a situation only for your mind to reduce it into grainy, choppy frames that seem like mere periphery.

But no matter what I didn't have then that I have now, or vice versa, or no matter who I have hurt, have been hurt by, lost, was found by, or everything in between... there is a countdown every year that will always stay the same, and this year, just like every year, it will be an exemplification of who you are and where you are in your life. And who that is and what that is will most certainly change, as your midnight on December 31st ultimately reveals every single year... but feel blessed for the things and the people you have, rather than the things and the people you do not, and enjoy every pungent moment of The Now the very moment 2011 begins, because it is all fleeting, and most certainly meant for you to enjoy in a very specific way.

Let go of the past. Tip your hat to it. Forgive the bad, remember the good, learn, move on. Those people, those loves, those friends, those places... all of those were there when they were supposed to be there, and a lot of it probably has changed... and that is okay, because so have you. Appreciate, grow, learn. Protect what is yours, don't hurt when you have the ability to heal, and be cautious of people who are missing teeth or smell like dirty cars.

Life is short, don't you know?

So.

New Years eve. Midnight.

Where will you be? And with who?

Don't plan it too closely, just do it, be it, live it. This is your life, and there is no past and there is no future... those both are intangible concepts. Just be present, drink deeply, kiss deeply, live deeply.

...5, 4, 3, 2, 1...

Happy New Year.



- joshua

Location:Marcy Ave,Brooklyn,United States

Regarding the upcoming KILL! BOY! KILL! parties~

December 24, 2010

Greetings Everyone...

I wanted to reach out to everyone in the community and share our decision to move our next KILL! BOY! KILL! theme party until after the New Year.

Although all promotional material has advertised our next night for this coming Wednesday, as scheduled, we realized we had to be smart and factor in certain details. This is probably one of the most desolate weeks in New York City, as that most people are at home being coddled and overfed by family rather than shivering bitterly on the A train platform on their way to a bar. In order to maximize business and keep our baby party on a positive track, it would be best to hold off until the flow of the city is back to normal.

And personally, because I have such excitement for our upcoming Wizard of Oz theme, I would feel better about being able to have that experience when the holidays are over and people have shamelessly abandoned their New Years resolutions, more excited than ever to drink and use in excess.

That said, KILL! BOY! KILL! will be back on JANUARY 12th with a vengeance only witnessed by Nicole Brown Simpson and Ron Goldman in their final moments. We will move forward with the Wizard of Oz, and with a new and improved KBK that will bring our dark little redheaded step-party to the next level.

Thanks to all our beautiful regulars and supporters. Take this time to get ready for EMERALD CITY OR BUST! We will see you in a few weeks!

Peace,
Harmony,
and Daddy Issues,

Joshua Mayhew,
Joel,
MikeE,
Miss Thalia,

The Switch Kids

Location:Ellery St,Brooklyn,United States

Total Eclipse of My Brains Splattered on the Wall

Today I was on the A train heading uptown and I was thinking about what it would be like if someone blew my head off with a gun.

The train was crammed, filled out, the guy next to me was wearing cologne that smelled like it was bought out of a store with fluorescent lighting. Everyone was layered to high heavens because December is here and apparently that means 75 mph winds and 30 degrees. Everyone stared miserably at the floor as the train rocked and jerked back and forth, no one spoke, everyone's faces washed with a zoned out sort of mediocre thought process that touched lightly on what they had to get done this week.

And I thought about what would happen if some asshole just stood up and said ALRIGHT EVERYONE GET THE FUCK DOWN or something like that, Pelham 123 style, and decided to start waving a gun around. I pinpointed out the females on the train who looked like they would be the ones erupting the stock screams of terror, the ones that would feebly try to protect their children, and the calm, silent ones that would eventually get their brains splattered on the walls because they tried to be a hero.

And then there was me.

I thought about what if, for no particular reason at all, the crazy asshole just decided to go balls to the wall and "prove his point" by killing me.

What would happen the moment after I died?

It was sort of humbling to think about the fact that everyone would probably be silent, look at the remains of my exploded head, and then the train would stop, the terrorized people would get off, and then everyone would just move on with their lives. They would still go to work, they would make their phone calls, pick up their laundry, everything as normal.

Is that because this city cannot stop for anyone?

Or is that become we are all a little inconsequential at the end of the day?

Or maybe I'm just coming down from the drugs and getting that unfortunate dark side effect of introspectively and emotionally bleeding out?

Will an egg roll make everything better? Yes? Alright.

DE-FRIENDED

As Facebook has become as intrinsic to our survival as oxygen, using the bathroom, and yelling at the delivery guy for throwing you shade, so is the inevitability that at some point you will be removed from someone's friends list. Now, this is something that I am no stranger to, since a lot of people think that I'm a cunt, an asshole, I'm full of myself, I'm a serial killer, whatever. Nonetheless though, despite that I have sold my soul to the devil himself on countless occasions and I have an iced over heart, it still feels a little prickly inside when I realize that someone has removed me from their friend's list.

The simple fact of the matter is this: It is something that one must go out of their way to accomplish. They must search for your name, click on it, find the remove feature, and then it will ask you to CONFIRM the decision. And then a month later you all of a sudden notice that someone's brash, lengthy, ebonic statuses with no punctuation have stopped gloriously adorning your newsfeed.

The same can be said for the tragic ending of a relationship. Here's a scenario... not only has your wonderful relationship crashed and burned as a result of lies, cheating, extortion, and some peppered in grand larceny, but NOW even AFTER the acquittals and the crack induced fist fights in that Bowery alley, you now must go onto fucking FACEBOOK and REMOVE THE RELATIONSHIP. And THEN that shit asks you if you are SURRRRRE????? And then you have to rethink everything.

It is just somewhat amazing how facebook has perfected the art of eliminating any sort of gray area relating to absolutely anything. It is all cut and dried, together, not together, friends, not friends, you're in the photo, you're not, you're tagged there, you're not.

So stupid.

But either way, I just wanted to give a shout out to all my friends and fans who feel that little prickle of pain everytime you realize that someone has removed you from their friend's list... you're not alone! In fact, you can count on it!

-Joshua

killboykill

12.08.10