the other day ashley tisdale from high school musical was in opry mills, and i probably would have broken her knees had i been in there. i cant quite explain why really.

i saw the fourth Saw movie last night. sf. per usual.

i have been channeling lindsay lohan a bit too much lately, and therefore am trying to settle my nerves with coffee and enya, which i requested we play in the office today. actually its really gross i have to change it hold on

my housemate is currently sleeping with this guy that rides a motorcycle and works at Beyond the Edge. he spent like an hour last night telling me about his prince albert piercing over some margaritas. i felt an unpleasant tingling in my groin as a result of the conversation and so i took my drink upstairs and passed out in the middle of sending a text message.

halloween is tomorrow.

so.

i'm working right now.

and i'm drunk.


when i am not drunk anymore, i will explain why i am drunk right now. and it has nothing to do with the liquor cabinet in the office.

living at 1044 seymour avenue is sick and glamorous, though rather odd at times.

my housemate is a raging alcoholic just like me, and we often wander around the house with bathrobes and cigarettes, busting booze cabinets around like bette davis in "whatever happened to baby jane"

michelle mccrary came over and we talked about our lives and she gave me good handsoap and we drank screwdrivers and talked shit.

my new friend eryk datura came over the other night with ryan and they met michelle. worlds colliding.

last night i decided i needed to go out so we went to lipstick lounge and some guy who was hitting on me told me he wanted to "break me up like a shotgun"

i scoffed and told him he was a degenerate heathen and gathered my entourage and walked out.

pancakes


being a gemini is just so tough.
part of me wants to be the finest actor in the world
the other part wants to be just another flash in the pan trashy pop icon.

louis armstrong has been playing since nine this morning

my friend jesse is coming into town tonight. i met him in philly when i was auditioning for walnut street. he is a part of some traveling childrens show about AIDS awareness or something

i am obsessed with the song Cyclone

it reminds me of dancing on katie cox's couch


Colby Caillat, that girls who sings that tree-hugging Bubbly song, looks like the poor man's Jennifer Aniston.

I have found that for myself, it is awfully difficult to make decisions, or to maintain them, when clouded opinions get in the way. Despite what a controlling, lying, deceitful, manipulative, self-absorbed bratty little gemini cunt I am, I am still highly impressionable.

All that said,

I have found a sexy new bungalow in east nashville, over by 5 points, and will be moving in there this week. I only plan on staying for about 6 months or less, but I feel like it is something I need to do. It will never match the caliber of SF15, or the SFFrame, yet the amenities are luxurious and acceptable enough to match my glamorous lifestyle.

yes, it would be easier to maintain my life in a gigantic compound... but i need the delineation of work and home life.

if you have access to this blog, you are someone who is encouraged and welcome to come to nashville and play with me at anytime.



Old habits die hard.

i just drove through the pharmacy drive-through to pick up a prescription, and there was a sign in the window that said (and i shit you not)...


"sorry, we cannot administer flu vaccines through the drive through. thank you."

a jaunt

i was already 45 minutes late because parking in the gulch is sick

but

i walked into ru sans and met lauren gardiner richards, leigh lorraine bondurant, and little cameron yeates, as well as lauren wenberg for a tedious meal of sushi. our waitress did not deserve a tip at all, and was wearing some sick knock-off designer glasses to make up no doubt for the vacuous thoughts milling through her brain. she looked like the poor man's suchin pak, and thats not saying much.

then i went and got like 16 tiny bottles of absolut and we drank outside of cocoa before hitting up Play. Some guy there decided it was a good idea to straddle cameron and i, and then we decided to go take tequila shots and drink bottomless glasses of long island iced tea.

the girls went on their way, and cameron and i went over to my friend ally's new house in madison. we picked up some stella artois and were there in 15 minutes. we got totally blown and cameron got sick but it was lovely. we woke up and a beautiful 75 degrees greeted us.

my friend jesse from philly comes in this friday, and the same thing will probably happen.

i hope to be moved in by wednesday.



oh, and if you dont know it yet, here is your latest new addiction.

www.overheardinnewyork.com


oh, and a new term i have devised for fat, bossy people...

FATITIUDE.

"that bitch has a FATITUDE"

go with it.

yes?
no?

nip/tuck airs october 30th... season 5.


may to go lot 7 tonight or tomorrow

i am waiting on those kids to call me, because apparently they are lurking about nashville... fresh from conway.

i will eat them alive.

its been a circus in the office today because my grandfather found out that apparently tom jones recorded one of the songs that he wrote/produced in the 50s. it ended up on tom jones greatest hits album, and went platinum. they stole it.

so everyone is flipping out and chainsmoking and it is my job to make sure its the same song and so i have been researching tom jones all day long.

sick.

Universal needs to send some moolah over here.


right now there are five gigantic men moving unlabeled boxes into my grandfather's theatre.

yesterday i went into walmart twice. the first time i purchased:

batteries
shaving gel
boxer briefs


the second time i purchased:

moisturizer
an issue of star weekly
a pair of tweezers.


hmm...


went to lipstick lounge with david scarpaci and did a billy joel karaoke. it was the first time i felt okay about publicly singing. i am sure the amaretto sours helped.

then everyone did the time warp and i tipped my lesbian bartender generously.

my uncle parris is in town.

i am looking for a studio apartment in east nashville.
sexy.

i tried to post some of my favorite pictures from the weekend below but i can barely operate a cell phone much less a computer so maybe you can see them, maybe you cant whatever i'm over it.

mafia night

there is something to be said about being virtually emotionless for five months, and then in a four day period all of a sudden... feeling... again.




i learned how to use a ladder today.


i bought a bottle of bombay to celebrate.

closer than you think

Speaking with Myles Murray on the phone yesterday was a rejuvenating treat.




There is so much to do, and so little time.

Appointments, calls to make, alterations, time coordinations..


why?




you'll see.

w h e r e a r e y o u

i am alive, and well. i left my phone in my bed yesterday and did not see it again until about 2:30 in the morning. due to the nature of the upcoming week, and the plans therein, i had to spend the day in preparation.

i wouldnt feel the need to post this message if i didnt receive an unsightly number of phone calls and text messages from various folks inquiring if i was alive. i am sorry for any undue stress i caused and appreciate you for it. thank you all for your support and concern in these matters.

any other questions may be directed to my publicist or attorney. god bless, bitches.


warmest regards,

~joshua mayhew~


the comic above has nothing to do with anything but i thought it was hot i hope you love it.